What's a parent?

So, I've decided to ask the question: "What is a parent?"

Is a parent a person who gives birth to a child?
Is a parent a person who raises a child?
Do you have to give birth to a child in order to be a parent?
Does giving  birth to a child make you a parent?

According to Merriam-Webster dictionary, a parent is

• One that begets or brings forth offspring
• A person who brings up and cares for another

According to Merriam-Webster dictionary, a mother is

• A female parent
•  (1): a woman in authority; specifically: the superior of a religious community of women (2): an old or elderly woman
• Maternal tenderness or affection

According to Merriam-Website dictionary, a father is

• Maternal tenderness or affection
• a: one related to another in a way suggesting that of father to child b: an old man —used as a respectful form of address

Does this answer any of my questions?  No!

I don't think you need to birth a child to be a parent and just becuase you birth a child, doesn't make you a parent.

I know people who have kids and they don't deserve them.  By saying that I mean that they only had the chid to get the "perks" of having kids, like the extra money, holding onto the past [an ex], hurting someone [payback], etc...  I also know people who have kids that have kids that deserve them and worked EXTRA hard to have kids.

I just wish people would respect and realize that there's people out there that can't have kids and here they are abusing that PRIVILAGE.

Being a parent and having a child is a PRIVILAGE, NOT A RIGHT!

I'm one of those people that wants that privilage to have a child.  After miscarriages, that privilage seems far off and non-reachable, while I look at worthless parents who keep popping kids out.

Wow! It's been a while!

Wow!  It's been a long long while.  Almost five months!!

Well, I'm back!!  :)

Where do you belong??

Have you ever had one of those days where you just don't feel like you belong where you are??

I had that 2 days ago.  I went to my boy-f's friend's house and I felt so out of place.  I'm not even sure why.  I just felt like I shouldn't be there.  Not that they were doing anything illegal or anything of that sort, I just didn't fit in.  It was weird.

Hmph...

Are you KIDDING me?!?!?!

I'm not pissed off more b/c I'm a White Sox fan, but this made me soooooo mad!!!!

Two women sue Cubs owner Ricketts

Updated Jun 23, 2011 12:06 PM ET

OMAHA, Neb. (AP)

Two Nebraska women are suing the founder of online brokerage TD Ameritrade and owner of the Chicago Cubs, claiming he fired them from his Omaha-based charity after they accused its chief operating officer of sexual harassment.

Patricia Davis and Patricia Duncan filed a federal lawsuit against Joe Ricketts and the Opportunity Education Foundation, which provides educational opportunities to children in developing nations. Ricketts' family owns the major league baseball team.

The lawsuit alleges that the COO often discussed his own sex life and made inappropriate comments about women's physical appearance. He often commented about Davis' legs and cleavage, and once putted a golf ball into Duncan's office and said ''I'm trying to get into your hole,'' according to the lawsuit.

Both women were fired within weeks of discussing their complaints with Ricketts and the foundation's executive director in August 2009. Although the COO was eventually fired after Davis complained to the foundation's outside human relations firm, he was quietly re-hired by Ricketts within days to work outside the office, according to the lawsuit.

The Nebraska Equal Opportunity Commission found reasonable cause of retaliation against both women but not of sexual harassment. The COO, who is not being sued, no longer works for the charity.

Ricketts' attorney said Wednesday that the lawsuit and its allegations were meritless.
''Mr. Ricketts and Opportunity Education Foundation welcome the opportunity to rebut them in court while continuing the foundation's important charitable work,'' said Ken Turnbull, who is based in New York.

The lawsuit, filed in U.S. District Court in Omaha on Monday, also names Ricketts' holding company, Hugo Enterprises, and the outside human resources company. Messages seeking comment left for Ricketts, the former COO, the women's attorney and at various phone listings in Omaha for a Patricia Davis and a Patricia Duncan were not returned Wednesday.

According to the lawsuit, Ricketts told Duncan within two weeks of her complaint that her part-time services were no longer needed and the foundation would call her ''when work picked up.'' When Ricketts and his attorney asked Duncan about her sexual harassment claim, they cited the golf ball comment and told her ''she had probably misunderstood the comment,'' the lawsuit said. ''She told them that her husband had not misunderstood it.''

Davis also was interviewed, and Ricketts told her days later that the COO denied sexually harassing her. When she asked Ricketts to interview other employees who could verify the harassment, he angrily pointed a finger in her face and said, ''Do not tell me how to run my business,'' according to the lawsuit. Ricketts later called the COO into the room, telling Davis that he was her boss and that she needed to get along with him, the lawsuit said.

Davis claims that over the next two months, she was excluded from meetings and duties essential to her job. When she complained of harassment to the outside human resources firm, she and the COO were put on paid administrative leave and eventually fired in December 2009.

In finding reasonable cause for retaliation, the Nebraska Equal Opportunity Commission noted Davis and the COO were fired at the same time but that the COO was temporarily re-hired ''as a contract employee.'' But the agency also found that although inappropriate comments may have been made, it was unclear whether they ''were sufficiently severe or pervasive to affect or alter a term, condition or privilege of employment.''

WTF?!?!  Just because you're rich and own the "almighty" Chicago Cubs, doesn't allow you to make your own rules as they go.  I hope he gets in MAJOR trouble b/c if it is found by the EEOC that these women weren't lying and they were fired b/c they made the allegations, Ricketts is FRIED!  Esp., since he HIRED back the jerkwhad!!!  Ugh!!

Friday

This has been one of those weeks where all I want to do is spend the whole weekend in bed, but that's not going to happen as I have to work 16.5 hours tomorrow.  Blah.....

But today my doggie Hera did the cutest thing.  She decided to nap next to me, but that's not what's cute, it's how she was napping....

I love my Hera!!!!  She's the best puppy!!  But also the LAZIEST puppy!

Also, amongst my adventures today, our neighbors dog (a shephard/husky mix) got out (YET AGAIN) and came over to my house and decided she wanted to play with Peaches.  So they took off around the house.  Little brats.  I finally got Peaches in the house and walked the neighbors dog over to her house and locked her back in the backyard!

I woke up to the BEST present EVER!  I got a bonus from work!!  YAY!!  I wasn't expecting that.  It's not much, but WAY more than I thought I'd have gotten if I was eligible for the bonus!  :D  YAY!!!!

So far it's been a good, but very hectic week!  :D

Don't take life for granted.....

I work for a not for profit agency that helps intellecutally and physically disabled adults find jobs and become semi to fully independant.  I've only worked here for 2 months now, but working with the adults I do, you come to appreciate life more.

I think everyone in this country that has ever complained about anything that they think hurts, etc... they need to work with an adult that has developmental or physical disabilities because that sore leg or hip, will be something minor.

Single Parents

I have great admiration for single mother's, especially those that earn that admiration and deserve to be admired.  Like my mother for example.  No, she didn't "create" me on her own, but at the time my father wasn't the best man, best husband, or best father to be around.  He'd rather have spent his money on other things.  (He's since then changed and is a big part of my life.)  But my mother, raised me, more or less, on her own.  I had my MANY medical problems, etc... but she worked hard for the money to support us and to take care of me.  I also have a good friend who has two ADORABLE little kids.  She graduated high school pregnant with her first child, married the father (who (at the time) was her high school sweetheart), etc...  They later got divorced.  She filed for child support, he's been paying, as he deems appropriate.  She later met another guy, dated him for about a year, then got pregnant with her second precious child.  They later broke up, and she filed for child support.  Again, he pays as he deems appropriate.  This friend never graduated college, BUT have a better paying job than I'll EVER see (and I have two degrees!).  I have another good friend who also graduated college, met a guy, got married, she found out she was pregnant shortly after getting married, they later separated, and she had an adorable baby girl.  Her ex-husband never pays support.  She has been trying to find a job that will allow her to support her and her daughter on her own.  However, for the time being, she lives with her mother, and is going back to school.

I mention all these examples for a simple reason.  My mother was never eligible for public assistance, eventhough she was making only $5/hr, and supporting me on her own.  She was told by the public aid office to sell her car, etc....  Now, how is she supposed to get to work if she sold her car?  She's not!  How was she going to get me to the doctor if she didn't have a car?  She couldn't.  So needless to say, she never received public assistance and struggled through it all.  My first friend I mentioned, she worked job after job after job to support her kids.  She did end up on public assistant, but was either kicked off or was no longer eligible.  In the end, she knew she had to do something QUICK to support herself and her children, especially if she wasn't going to get the help she needed.  As for my second friend I mentioned, she does recieve public assistance for her daughter.  She has worked odd jobs, but can't seem to get one that will be enough to support her, her daughter and pay bills, especially her student loans that are now coming to track her down.

Again, you're probably thinking, why am I going on and on about all this??

My boyfriend has a child with his ex-girlfriend, which I'm presuming was supposed to only be a one night stand.  Whatever....  In the end, they ended up with a gorgeous and most adorable baby girl.  His ex hasn't worked since November 2008, two months after she found out she was pregnant.  That's what???  More than 2 YEARS!  They had their fights.  Etc...  Etc....  He ended up moving back home, 3 hours from his ex-girlfriend.  It wasn't to "run away", it was to "get away".  (You'll understand in a few....)  He made it down there for their daughter's birth and kept away since then.  A mistake on his part, but he's trying to make up for it now.  In my opinion, it's never too late.  (Some may not agree....)  Here's the "killer" part, his ex is making it as HARD AS POSSIBLE for him to see his little girl, eventhough it's court ordered.  To top it all off, his family (especially his mother) are siding with his ex.  It irks me because they are blinded and oblivious to what his ex is like and what she's done to their daughter.

Last year, his ex lied to me (and my husband) and told us that her mother was kicking her out of the house.  Now, me being me, I felt bad and I'd NEVER EVER let a child be on the streets.  Come to find out, right before she moved in with us, her mother wasn't kicking her out AT ALL, she was telling many people that lie so she could get closer to him and try to win him back.  However, I let that slide and we decided to let her move in still and give her a chance.  BIG MISTAKE!  I learned a HARD lesson, QUICK!  She claimed she was looking for a job, she never did, UNLESS I made her, because I was taking her places where I was applying.  Then she insisted on telling on my husband and me.  For example, one day she was complaining about my (now) boyfriend and I told my husband to grab my phone out of my purse because I didn't want her to use it without me around.  (She called the cops on him once from my phone for NO reason.  Oh wait, she wanted to know HER rights as their daughter's mother.  Call a lawyer BITCH!)  He did.  Later that day, she thought she was being sly and "tattled" on him to me.  I told her "I knew he went in my purse.  I told him to!"  She could just say "Oh..."  Another instance was when I was going to a festival and I was "Polacking" it and made me a margarita "to go".  Keep in mind, I left the bottles on the counter for all to see.  The next day, the container I had the margarita in was sitting on the counter, and she told my husband "Smell that.  She was drinking."  He knew.  For two reasons, the bottles were left in plain site and I told him I made it, because I called him on the way to the festival.  She tried hard to turn everyone against everyone.  However, I will say she succeeded in turning his family against him because of her LIES and backstabbing ways.

While she lived with us, she did MANY things to the baby I (, my mother, nor my husband) agreed with.  it took all I could to not call DCFS on her.  Don't think I haven't contemplated it still.  Here's a few examples:
(1) When her (his ex) teeth were bothering her, the baby came up to her to try to hug on her and she (his ex) SHOVED the baby away.  She said she didn't want to deal with her!!!  THAT'S YOUR F*CKING KID!!!
(2) His mother asked me to drive his ex and the baby into the city.  I said ok.  Well that morning, he did or said something to tick her off.  While in the bathroom, I was straightening my hair and she was giving the baby a bath.  Because she was sooooo p*ssed off at him, the baby was picking up on that.  Since the baby wasn't sitting still to her liking, she shoved the baby in the tub and told her to "SIT STILL!"  I got p*ssed and told her to go away and I'll finish bathing her.  Got the baby calmed down, cleaned up, and outta the tub.  She went running to her mommy and
(3) she pushed her away and said "Your father p*sses me off!  I don't want you near me!"
(4) Another occassion, the baby said "Dada" and instead of saying "Good girl!"  Or something praising because she said a "word", his ex said "NO!  He's not dada.  He's @sshole!  I will teach you to call him that!"  Excuse me!?!?!?!?!?
(5) During one of her many dramatic spells, she "pretended" to be passed out on the  bedroom floor and the baby came to lay on her.  She pushed her off and said "I wish I'd never met your father, than maybe I'd be happy and wouldn't have to deal with you."  At that point, my husband took the baby into another room.
(6) Did you know a 1 year old is supposed to still be on stage 2 baby food?!?  I didn't!?
(7) Did you know a 2 year old that has never had a sippy cup and is still bottle fed??

The point to my whole schmeel is that she doesn't deserve what she gets as a single "mother".  She has his family so WRAPPED around her finger that his mother and father are paying for her COLLEGE education, sends diapers and wipes down to the baby, as needed (kind of no biggie), etc..  But here's the killer part (which goes back to the beginning), his ex gets child support ($300), food stamps, medical, AND AND AND cash from the state.  However, she claims she never has enough to buy the baby her required things.

The killer part, since they went to court and he agreed to pay child support, including back pay, he was ordered to get visitation.  He had ONE visitation.  It ended badly on my part, which I still feel bad for.  He tried to come down the weekend after, but his ex couldn't "agree" to anything.  Nothing was to HER liking.  (Keep in mind, they live 3 hours apart.)  The conversation went as follows:

Him: So your denying me visitation for tomorrow?

Her: The only way this is going to get resolved is by me taking you to court.

Him: So I can’t see my daughter tomorrow? Correct.

Her: Tomorrow isn’t going to work for me *****. Sorry. First thing next week me and mom are going to find an attorney to file the necessary papers for this so this fighting can come to an end.

She says she never denied him visitation...  Um....  Am I reading that wrong then?!?!  He called his mom right away, because his mom told him long before that if his ex ever denied him visitation, she'd "cut his ex off".  His mom agreed.  Only to find out his mother LIED to him.  She never intended to do that.  She only told him that.  Then to top if all off, his mother is MAKING excuses for his ex.  She make excuses and defend his ex, but not her own son.  She says it's because he wasn't the best child growing up and caused a lot of problems and was in and out of jail.  So what?!?  That's your f*cking son.

I guess the moral of my rant is that, just because you're a single mother, don't act like the clouds should open up and give you a free pass at life.  There's too many people out there struggling for you to think the world revolves around you because YOU chose to lay down and have unprotected sex with a man and ended up knocked up.  And YOU chose to keep that child, whether by no aboring it or by not giving it up for adoption.  YOU made the choice.  NO ONE made it for you.  Live with your concequences.  This goes the same for single fathers.  I know a few single fathers who are the BEST in the world (in my opinion) and don't get the credit they do.

Wanna know why the GOOD/WONDERFUL/FABULOUS/GREAT/EXTRAORDINARY single parents don't get the acknowledgement they deserve, because this country is too busy catering to the worthless piece of sh*t single parents, LIKE my boyfriend's ex, that has had the WORLD handed to her on a silver platter, she just doesn't see it.

You don't have to agree with my opinion, but I was raised by one of those GOOD/WONDERFUL/FABULOUS/GREAT/EXTRAORDINARY single parents and she never got the credit she deserved.  Just like my two friends I mentioned will never get the credit or even see how GOOD/WONDERFUL/FABULOUS/GREAT/EXTRAORDINARY they really are!

Eventful

WoW!  Just when things couldn't get more interesting!!!

I get a phone call from  my boyfriend telling me that we have a golden retriever in our front yard, at about 9am.  Um... Ok...  We don't own a golden retriever!  LOL  He tells me my (soon-to-be ex) husband called the non-emergency police and they told him there's nothing they can do until 4pm when the pound opens.  WHAT!!  What are we supposed to do with a dog from 9am to 4pm!?!?!?  Thankfully my two darling precious doggies (Hera and Peaches) get along with ths golden retriever and we were able to let them all be around eachother.  We (my boyfried my (S2Bex) husband, and myself) took Hera, Peaches, and this golden retriever for a walk to the nearby vet to see if she was microchipped.  OF COURSE NOT!  But the vet said she looks healthy.  We're guessing about 4 years old, however my mother says maybe older.  Not to sure.  She's fixed and she's a she.  LOL  I checked her for ear mites, fleas, and ticks, but couldn't find any.  Gave her a "bubby bath".  She'll probably take all year to dry because of all her hair.  LOL  She was well taken care of, based on her belly size and her manners.  She knows "sit", "lay", etc...  Our guess is that her owners are either elderly or a family with lots of kids, based on her belly size.  ;)  I'd love to keep her if we don't find the owner(s), but (1) we have NO room and (2) we can't afford it.  She's a doll though!



Not the best photo, but you get the idea.  I'm calling her "Q T Pie".  It suits her.

Now, I come to work and find out that my company that I work for (which is a not for profit organization) is not only changing it's name, it's now part of a nationwide company and not just a local company.  I'm shocked.  I knew they were talking about a name change, BUT not a company change.  There's a new name launch "party" tomorrow and hopefully we'll be able to get more information.  I'm hoping this means our medical insurance costs for next year will go down, therefore I can get them,, instead of paying the $100 per pay period for ONE person and having a $30 co-pay at each doctor's visit.  EEK!!!

Growing on Trees

Ever wonder why money doesn't really grow on trees?  It always seems that there's more bills than what you bring in.  Why is that??

Oh, I know!!!  The economy!!  Wait, is that right!?!?!  I'm not sure I believe that fully, myself.

I look at myself and wonder how I got where I am now.  I used to work for a prominent health insurance company making good money.  My bills were on time, etc...  Then after almost 3 years, they decided to do "massive lay-offs" and I was one of the **lucky** ones laid-off.  It took me from November 2009 until April 2011 to find a new job.  That's a LONG time.  In the meantime, my pay got cut by 50%!!  So, it came down to "do I pay the water bill" or "do I pay the mortgage?"  Then before I knew it, we were behind on everything.  Now I have a job, but we can't seem to get ahead.

Oh wait, again, I know why!!!!  My (soon-to-be) ex-husband has decided to reside in "our" home and NOT pay to live there.  So he's using the utilities (water, electric, gas, etc...) and eating the food that I buy, BUT not paying a dime.  **CORRECTION** The only thing he's paying for is my health insurace, because legally he CANNOT kick me off of it until we're officially divorced, but in return I'm paying for the car insurance!

He wants $2,000 out of the monies he took out of his 401K back in February/March.  Ugh, that money was used to get us caught up on bills, but once we got caught up, we got behind because I wasn't working, etc....  And we're right back where we started, but this time all of the financial responsibility falls solely on ME!  My jobs doesn't pay me THAT well!!  I make 65% of what I made when I worked for the health insurance company.

How do you make someone understand this when they have no concept of money?!?  Especially when they think $500 is like $5000?!

Bankruptcy is the "best" option, but there's no gurantee it'll help, because in order for me to keep the house once the divorce is finalized, I have to refinance the house in my name.  NO ONE is going to refinance the house in my name with bankruptcy overhead!!!  Sure, some say "Just get rid of the house and move on."  It's easy to say that, but the house was purchased with monies MY grandfather left me.  The house was also repaired with the monies MY grandfather left me.  My father, my mother, and I put all kinds of work into the house, as well as my cousin's boyfriend.  My (soon-to-be) ex-husband painted one room and his family is/was non-existant!  It's almost like the house has a sentimental value to me.  Weird to say about a house I've only lived in for 3 years.  Hmph.....  (BTW, his excuse for not helping was because he had to work, although, so did my mother, my father, and I.  Funny how that goes!  Only his work was important and I made more money!)

It just seems like I'm getting nowhere and I wished money grew on trees!